TACOMA, Washington — It is 2:47 on a Tuesday. You have a deadline. You have a meeting at four. You have, at this exact moment, no business in the parking lot of a Taco Bell. And yet here you are, holding a Crunchwrap Slider that is, in the official words of the menu, “topped with a crème brûlée,” which is a phrase that has not once, in the history of the English language, been used to describe a thing you were trying to get through before a deadline.

The crème brûlée Crunchwrap Slider is a new limited-time test item, and it is, as several patrons who have already tried it will tell you with the flat affect of the recently enlightened, “actually really good,” which is the most dangerous sentence in the fast-food lexicon. It is a crispy, folded, beef-and-cheese taco that has, on top, a layer of caramelized sugar that the kitchen torches, which means the thing you are eating has a sound. It goes crack when you bite it. It goes crack again on the second bite. By the third bite, you are not eating lunch. You are conducting a small experiment in which the variable is “how much of my Tuesday can I lose to a taco.”

"I came in for a Burrito Supreme," said a man in a lanyard. "I left with a crème brûlée and a problem."

We asked a handful of patrons what they thought. The responses were, to a degree that worried us, unanimous.

A high school sophomore, sitting with a friend and a tray, said, “The sugar part is the whole point. It’s like a candy bar that went to law school.” A woman in her forties, eating alone and very quickly, said, “I’m not gonna lie to you, I’ve had three and I’m ordering a box.” A man in a suit, on his phone, said, “My boss is gonna call in five minutes. I don’t care. The sugar is crackling.”

TACO BELL GAMBLE: ODDS & OUTCOMES

  • Chance of finishing one: High
  • Chance of ordering a second: Very high
  • Chance of a third, "just to be sure": Documented
  • Chance of remembering your 4:00 meeting: Low, and declining
  • Chance the sugar cracks on the third bite: 100%
  • Regret: A temporary condition

We spoke to a local gastroenterologist, who, when shown a photo of the item, said, “The caramelized sugar is a fine source of simple carbohydrates. What I’m less sure about is the decision-making that leads a person to order three at 2:47 in the afternoon.” He did not, he added, “have any problem with the taco itself.” The taco, he was clear, was “structurally sound.”

Taco Bell did not immediately respond to a request for comment on whether the item is a dessert, a lunch, or a “small personal tragedy.” The menu, for its part, lists it under both “Appetizers” and “Desserts,” which is, we think, the most honest thing it has ever done.

At press time, the man in the lanyard had, in fact, returned. He is now on his fourth. The sugar, we are told, is “still going.”