Saturday, September 5, 2026 Fair & Imbalanced™
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Vance credits Bobby Kennedy for his 30-pound weight loss; the diet, per the diet, "started with a phone call" ◆ London's first self-driving taxis roll out — 15 of them, each with a human in the driver's seat who is, per the human, "not driving" ◆ India's avocado imports surge 27%; the fruit, per the fruit, used to be "for the dog" ◆ CMU physicists overturn a 147-year-old Hall effect assumption; the math, per the math, "still works, differently" ◆ Acuña Jr. hits his 200th home run, fastest in the history of the thing; the record, per the record, did not exist until he made it exist ◆ White Castle deploys 1,000 hot slider vending machines; the box, per the box, is "trying to be a kitchen" ◆ The Fed's Waller says the whole economy hangs on one number; the number, per the number, is next week ◆ A Polish man looking for car parts finds a 1,800-year-old shield full of a dead warrior's ashes; the scrapyard, per the scrapyard, is "continuing to sell car parts"

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Reader Poll

London's new self-driving taxis each have a human in the driver's seat who is, per the human, "not driving." How do you feel about paying for a car you are not allowed to drive?

Confused — is the car driving, or is the person the car 38%
Fine — I have paid for a worse experience on a bus 41%
I will just sit in the back and let the machine and the witness argue about it 21%

Poll results reflect the views of 9,442 voters, all of whom were, in the specific, in a vehicle, and none of whom can, in the specific, now tell you who was driving.

"The fruit that used to be for the dog is now for the person. The person is, in the specific, putting it on a toast. The toast is, in the specific, 27 percent more expensive than it was. That is the whole story, and it is a good one, because the dog, for its part, has not complained, which is, in the specific, the most honest reaction in the entire trade."

— An avocado importer in New Delhi, who, per the importer, is "in the fruit business now"