Wednesday, November 4, 2026 Fair & Imbalanced™
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Democrats take House AND Senate; Wall Street calls gridlock "the best product available" ◆ White House: Fox News "bears responsibility" for losses; network notes it has been on television since 2011 ◆ Texas flips: Hinojosa elected first Latina governor; official White House theory is one word long ◆ Talarico defeats Paxton; first Texas Democrat in three decades says he is "thrilled," which is what they say before committee assignments ◆ Foreign press delivers clearer election coverage than both campaigns combined; American papers still using the word "wow" ◆ Science finally prints the mosquito menu; your neighbor is on it, and has been for years ◆ Baseball pays eight men $23.15M each in an elaborate procedure for saying the same thing out loud ◆ Brad's Raw Chips recalled nationwide over rat-poison metal; company silent, clerks report no complaints, hair reportedly fine ◆ North Korea's "Warhead Institute" tests 15-acre dispersal warhead — its second product launch this week ◆ 1960 physics formula predicts the end of the world on Friday the 13th; the city confirms trash pickup remains on schedule ◆ NBA sits dark on Election Day; 61-year-old season-ticket holder tells radio he "didn't know what to do with my hands" ◆

Opinion

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Reader Poll

With both parties now sharing the government, which side do you trust to do the actual governing?

"Neither. I have learned to distrust the party currently holding the pens." 44%
"The new Congress. I have a list. It's a long list. It starts with the roads." 33%
"The gridlock itself. Nothing gets done, the market goes up, everyone naps." 23%

Results weighted from a representative sample of 3,911 readers, a retiring Senate parliamentarian who declines to be named because she intends to work until 2044, one Wall Street trader who answered only in basis points, and an Ohio precinct counter who says she has now counted three midterms and trusts no one under 60 or over 97, a bracket her own mother falls outside.

"Democracy does not end at the election. It begins on the Thursday after, in a hallway, on the third floor, where the printer is out of paper and two hundred people agree to disagree professionally."

— Gwendolyn Pike-Strout, Chief Transition Officer for Post-Election Paperwork (definitely real), 34-year public servant, keeper of the third-floor printer key