DAYTON, OH — A local area man arrived at what he described as “a complete and total solution to basically all of it” during his 24-minute commute to work Thursday, only to lose the entire train of thought approximately 40 seconds after parking his car, witnesses confirmed.

Gary Holister, 44, an account manager at a mid-sized logistics firm, reportedly developed his comprehensive framework for resolving gridlock in Washington, reforming the tax code, and also fixing the issue with healthcare around mile 7 on Route 40, just past the BP station, during a particularly good segment of a talk radio program.

“It was so clear,” Holister told reporters who were absolutely not there but would have been impressed. “I had this whole thing worked out. It was elegant. Simple. I kept thinking ‘why hasn’t anyone thought of this.’ I was going to write it down.”

He did not write it down.

"It had something to do with incentives. Or maybe accountability. There was definitely a part about common sense. The details will come to me."

Sources say Holister’s solution, which he estimates would have resolved between four and seven major policy debates, began to deteriorate around the parking garage entrance when he remembered he had forgotten to send an email, at which point the entire geopolitical insight “just sort of evaporated.”

“I had the gist of it,” Holister added, staring at his steering wheel in the manner of a man who definitely had it. “Something about both sides. And also maybe infrastructure. It was really good.”

This is not the first time Holister has solved the nation’s problems in transit. In 2024, he worked out the entire immigration debate on a stationary bike at Planet Fitness, only to lose it during the cool-down stretch. In 2023, he cracked the budget deficit in the shower, which he blames on poor acoustics.

Gary Holister's Policy Accomplishments (Transit)

- **Healthcare reform:** Solved (I-75 northbound, 2021) — Lost at Arby's drive-through - **Tax simplification:** Solved (flight to Phoenix, 2022) — Lost upon landing - **Foreign policy restructure:** "Almost had it" (dentist waiting room, 2023) - **Economy thing:** Solved Thursday — Currently missing

Colleagues at Holister’s office report that he arrived at his desk appearing “energized but vague” and mentioned several times that he had “figured some stuff out” before asking if anyone had seen his stapler.

Washington has not yet been informed of the solution. Holister says he’s “pretty sure it’ll come back to him” by the weekend, possibly during a long drive or a particularly uninteresting meeting.

“It was genuinely good,” he said, shaking his head. “Both parties would have hated it, which I think means it would have worked.”

At press time, Holister had solved climate change in the elevator and was holding on to it as he walked to his desk.